Children’s Programming Guide for the first week of July
4:30 am- Wake-Up the Whale!- An angry unemployed whale yells at the children for three and a half hours. Required watching for all school age failures. There will be a test.
7:00 am- Inappropriate Banter Express- Two once attractive middle aged women and a beaten down ex games show hosts trade shameful sexual indiscretions over morning coffee while planning each others murder/suicide. Tune in to see who succeeds. Spoiler: Everyone.
Channel Enough Rope
2:00 pm- Michael Bay’s Fairy Tale Revenge- Michael Bay reads fairy tales his way. Snow White looks pouty, the Pied Piper won’t shut up, and all the magical creatures serve no purpose. Then things explode. The End