Children's Programming

A practical guide for children’s television programming for the week. Ratings advice and comments included where inappropriate.

WEEKDAYS

CHANNEL MULESKINNER

9:00 AM- Crazy Octavius’ Secret Bunker Showtime Circus- A Mad German Scientist conducts “Funsperiments” on neighborhood animals in front of an audience of 8 year olds who seem oddly sedate. Recommended for all who seek careers in healt hadministration

10:00 Am- Bewildered Bunhilda’s Sweepy Time Stagger Around- bunhilda, Crazy Octavius’ long distance girlfriend and live-in maid, cleans up after his “Funsperiments”. This episode, Bunhilda shows her talent for deboning sturgeon with out the use of her hands, which as we all know, we’re removed during last weeks “Funsperiment”.


CHANNEL SUBMARINE

5:00 PM- Neil and Buzz: Bitchin' Road Trip ‘09- Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin pile in their Moon-Van (an ‘87 Econoline, spray painted black with a skull on the hood) and set off for glory! This episode: Neil knocks up a truck stop waitress/lady of easy-pleasing, and Buzz lives up to his name when he enters the North Virginia How Much Speed Can You Ingest? Competition. Recommended only for those who love America.


CHANNEL DEATH RATTLE

All Day- Protests Gone Horribly Wrong- Kent State, Tianemen Square (Director’s Cut), and many more of your favorites.

WEEKENDS

CHANNEL TOLDYOUSO

8:00 AM-?- Buckets of Tar Being Dumped on the Heads of the Smarter Children- Not an actual program, just what’s going to happen.